After so much this and that, I've came upon to fully accept the fact that you cannot get everyone to like you. Yes, its been pretty miserable to have lived with this thinking: "oh... why doesn't that person like me back when I did not do anything to hurt/insult her? Have I unknowingly done something wrong, is there a problem with me. Oh now what..." yadda. Common insecurities.
It is never easy to truly accept something, especially if some people are against you for no serious reason(s). I don't know about you, but I have been that worrisome girl for a couple of years, trying to strive for perfection even when I know it was impossible. See? The irony in it. In school, I used to feel like I'm always in the wrong if someone was to talk bad or ignore me. I assumed the worst and fret too much over it. As a result, I could not sleep well at night due to over-thinking and lack of self-love (somehow). Not good, totally not good at all. If you asked me about the self-love part, well... I give myself too much demands. causing much unrest. I sort of had a negative outlook towards life. There was this particular period where I find everything and everyone around me were "set up" to hurt me (but ended up hurting the close ones instead). Yeah, the mini psychological issue there/ I'm so glad I came out from it, turning around the stupid voices inside my head (I know this is a little exaggerated); monsters telling me it was all wrong. (FYI, that is possibly why I like to read certain philosophies & psychological books now, aha you never know!).
Basically, I was literally an unhappy person.
It wasn't easy till I stumbled upon a couple of meaningful forums/blogs/sites about happiness, what exactly it is to be happy as a whole. I want to share some of the wisdom aka "self notes" I took in throughout these years! Again, this is totally just another occurrence from an ordinary person, not expert or anything. You can choose to take something, or nothing in at all. I'm just sharing some positivity here. ;)
1) Respect myself first, recognize my strengths and weaknesses, only then could I lead the way to find acceptance from myself, and then from others.
The old me would find it really hard to accept myself. However, looking back at how things were, I could finally see that letting go of negativity and accepting the flaws I have was so much better than continuing to hold on to something negative. As for me, I am someone who loves writing things out on a piece of paper. So I took this great chance to write down things I'm both good and not-so-good at. Then, reflect on them and make some amendments.
My motto: accept myself first, before getting accepted from others.
2) Practice positive-thinking. Have the willpower to change my mindset.
Honestly, be it small or big, there are plenty of things to be grateful for. Let me list out a few!
1) I can blog, like literally now!
2) I have loving family and friends.
3) I know people care.
4) I enjoy doing what I like.
5) I was exposed to this beautiful world. Well, if only you see the world in a optimistic way.
6) I'm breathing, still breathing ... still breathing. Every breath counts! (I never realized how our breaths are so important to us).
Attention: I stopped here because I love the number '6' kekeke!
3) Forgive myself, forgive others.
Yes, everyone probably got hurt before. We are humans with feelings after all.
Now that I know my weaknesses from 1), its time to accept and embrace oneself by changing. By accepting, it is already a form of forgiving myself.
Okay...so..what about others? Truthfully, it was never easy to forgive someone, especially after they left a scar on us. What's more, getting over it at the end. But what other choice do you have? Ever heard of treating back with kindness? Yes, that's like the best weapon to me. That's also when the phrase "fake it till you make it comes". Go, you can do it!
Everyone has a past. The past partly shape the way we behave now, which also means some people who feel insecure are most likely going to hurt me others. This reasoning motivates me to forgive "them".
4) Mom says: "note that everything might not go the way I want it to be, life is imperfect".
Embracing through the imperfections within oneself would be so much better than plainly whining about how things going wrong instead.
THAT, is one thing I admit I'm still struggling at home. I would not deny the fact that I can get really emotional towards life sometimes. No its not a good feeling. It only brings me down further. I'm trying...please believe me, mom.
5) Note that in society, not everyone's going to like us, accept that we have differences.
This last point is something I would like to emphasize on. It also links everything back to the topic. I used to ignore the fact that in life, some will like you while others won't. Why didn't I understand it earlier? I'm so glad now I do. :)
I have an updated picture to end off this post weehehe!
The lace top was sewn by my late aunt, yes I miss her. It feels really strange now, after so many things changed.
That lace top is beautiful! And your late aunt must have had amazing skills! </3
ReplyDeleteThank you, yes I think she's actually really skillful! ;D
DeleteGoing to take a visit to your blog too.