Sunday, November 26, 2017

Encircling dreams

"When was the last time you did something for the first time?" 
"If not now, then when?" 
"Do something your future self will thank you for now." 

Three significant quotations to consider; the guiding principles Sta seeks this year.
These past few months has been rather different for Sta. Her being unorthodox, unconventional and too unpredictable a person, she decided to hop around (again), to explore several new things.

Now one downside to having many interests is that Sta is prone to committing more errors. Her attention span on things are kind of  'all over the place'.

First of all, she tweaked her direction - her course of study. She made a swap from being a Management student, to a Technical one. Ya know... get a little more practical on topics that entice her.

On top of that, she joined her school's Dragon Boat. This was how she got introduced to the gym lifestyle in general. New human figures to learn from. Oh, and more about herself too! It was never smooth-sailing. Definitely not all rainbows and unicorns (hah). She was taught to be more discipline, and the most prominent thing would be for her to be a better team-player. Or so she tried.

Maybe Sta was a spoiled brat before. Now she compensates. Action speaks louder than words. She realized the overwhelming support she gets from her family members and friends throughout these years. All the privileges and luxuries she has/ has had here. Very honored by the way.

Count this a 'rites of passage'. A way to make her grow both mentally and physically.






Saturday, August 19, 2017

Blue Red

Life lesson update episode unknown. ;P


Not being delusional when I say that.. But I am someone who stems towards the great human potential:

- In rare cases, OBEs (Out of Body Experiences) do exist, after all. Maybe your angels are somewhere out there, looking out for you. The angel can be an unseen force of nature. This is "to each their own". To contextualized it, some theories could be explained artistically, philosophically, religiously and scientifically. Depending on each varying predicament we are in, or had been. Do good, at least you won't feel bad about it.

- Hell can annoyance be interlinked with care and concern. If there is something I can strongly resonate with this year, it would be agreeing on the fact that love and hate are both feelings. Many a time, I could think ill and positive about some random dude out there. I may have released my inner woes by gossiping about that person, keyword: may have. But you know what? Within a few days I am fairly much well and chirpy again. This means I have no more issues with him/her. It was just that short period of time I felt unsatisfied with his/her attitude towards things. Such a blinking light bulb you are, Calista.


- Coincidences can be a rather beautiful thing. Take it this way, the universe does send people at the right time, for reasons undefined. They may be there to make an impact on you, or there to teach you lessons. The given time frame could be long or short, but that is completely okay. What's substantial is the process; how every action you take has a reaction. If it its meant to be, it will be. Avoid taking things too literally, it does not serve our mental health well.



*PS. This post is very Spirituality based. I'm not particularly diving into the science aspect of humanity (as you can see). I mean c'mon, y'all must've already read through your Biology and Chemistry books - knowing a thing or two about how the body work wonders.


To end off:

Image result for stars and humans

Sunday, August 6, 2017

Figure Eighteen

Butterfly with its wings flapping wide open;
Flutters and sparks fly;
The knowing and reenactment with thyself;


I am finally eighteen. In layman terms, I am legitimately legal. It is my time to shine (I guess).

I have mixed feelings about that.

On one side, I am glad I could make decisions for myself. On another, I feel like there's a heavy responsibility weighing down against me. Is this how entering adulthood feels like? I mean yes, dealing with all kinds of people, paying the bills, learning new things each day.... but how about my mental capabilities - how much can I handle to be deemed as 'strong'?


I wish I could transcend both physically and spiritually.


Happy Belated Birthday to Sta Fey. 


The people who played a part on this day, you guys are appreciated. I love every single one of you! *Virtual Hugs*

Classmates who celebrated with me.
People who wished on social media platforms.
Family members who came down for dinner.


Blessed is Sta Fey. Even from the slightest details like physiological needs. Passing the magic around and about. X











Sunday, July 23, 2017

Insomnia

I could whine about the weather; the set-up; my conflicting, backfiring plans; my doubts; worries and concerns. The list of excuses could go on for eternity (not literally). But you know what? This is an outlet where I try to sort and rewire my brain. Jot the relevant things down so I could organize and straighten myself out. Writing can be a form of therapy after all, my friends.

The game plan has changed. Not only am I growing up and realizing a lot of things, I kind of feel remotely stand-offish from my original values and priorities. What I meant from this statement is that I am ever-changing, forever evolving and re-equipping. Intuitively, I sense the big shift happening. It has started since 3 years ago.

They say everyone's timing vary, now I know what they meant. As much as I call myself an early bloomer, I would call myself a late bloomer too. Many things in life are just a build-up from one thing to another. Like the swirls and spirals you make while paddling on water, or just simply counting the number of thoughts we have within one minute - they come..go,. come back again..and go.

I am a fucking little girl, entering adulthood. One of those 'spoiled' child you see, being thrown into a vast world.  Somehow I have to wake up from this dream of indulging in luxuries and privileges. As much as my ego cannot accept that (and is hushing me to stop conveying words and expressions), I want to show that raw part of human nature, such vulnerabilities.



A shameless selfie to top it all off.

See you, I am currently an irregular on this site.

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

La Vie en Rose

The other day, Qilah Rose and I finally met up at Harbourfront after what seems like forever.
Maybe it was a typical girls-day-out, you say.
It was a rather eventful day. We hopped around all the way to town.

This is a friendship full of light conversations, shopping, style pictures, not to mention... fun. Qils will agree.







This is a girl who is very photogenic. Someone who inspires me with fashion and music; who brings her 'inner-blonde' out. The continuous passion she has for what she does, it is terrific!



Lets top this post off with a silly (more like me) picture of us, heh.


Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Pass the love around: Summation of 2016

"I am blogging (yet again) when I should be studying.

Just recently, the whole 'terror thing' happened. Whenever such news struck, we feel pity, sorry, anger and even disgust for the unrest and loss of lives. There is devastation everywhere, which makes me ponder...

There is always somebody out there destroying something.

There is always someone who's bound to go against and beyond authorities.

There is always someone that's going to tweak things. Flip logic. Play dirty.

Someone unsatisfied, not happy with the current times. 

Something is created, and then being torn down.

Something so unexpected can happen.

And the vicious cycle repeats itself."

________

The words above were written by me ages ago (as if), when certain places in the world were raided. Not going in-depth into the these locations, y'all are free to guess. Hint: I wrote it somewhere earlier last year (2016). 

I know this cyberspace has been neglected lately. This ever so "opinionated", sometimes subjective, both factual and non-factual site. After all, what's the purpose of a personal page right? I get to immerse myself into literally anything! Heh. 

How's it out there in reality, you asked. 

It would be a complete lie if I said nothing was going on. I can barely manage my own time at hand - in school and at home. Some of my classmates are way better at handling tasks and people. I admit I am still learning from them. They never fail to entice me. Their POVs and mine, wow Sta... great soft skills going on there.. /since when did I find such trivial statements like this humorous/. 



I came back now only because:

- It is the long holidays! I am done with my Freshman year in Polytechnic. Lots of things took place. 2016 was by far the most thrilling and eye-opening year. I have had my fair share of ups and downs. Talk about daily energy and interactions, my tank is pretty much drained.

-  This space has mostly been on my mind. After all, I started doing this thing since childhood, more precisely at age ten. No doubt I missed posting here frequently.

- I have not had much motivation and drive earlier. Decreasing my hours of sleep and getting tired easily due to commitments. I am sure many of you out there (whichever age categories you guys fall under), can relate to this. You procrastinate, your productivity level dwindles. A new bad habit forms.

- Me failing two modules at the start of Semester 2 was very alarming. I only managed to make a comeback at the end of this year. Ditch having to re-module, ditch that. I have proved that there is so much room for improvement, earthlings!  /Proud Calista tapping herself on the shoulder/






MAIN HIGHLIGHTS


What I focused on mainly for the past year, was to give myself as much exposure as possible. That was when I took 'stepping out of one's own comfort zone' at play.

From taking part in school camps, orientation programs to trying out some Interest Groups. I came to the school, not knowing anyone from my course. It took me some while to adjust to a completely new surrounding.

I have probably embarrassed myself several times along the journey. But you know what? These are the moments I will look back upon and laugh. I figured what my incapability is, and yet at the same time, recognized how strong-willed I am.


And here's me chilling after all the upturn of events. Ps. Sandy shoes 



In retrospect to my earlier post here on "Differing Plans", I have long needed to update my progress - I signed off from my A'capella Interest Group. That happened before Semester 2 commenced. One reason was because of time constraint. I realized I overestimated myself in that aspect. With that being said, I am not going to explain myself further. I have already wrote what I needed to in a separate email to the in-charges.. Friends, you can approach me personally!

Have to admit, still... that I have no regrets joining it in the first place. If anything, I did enjoy myself. Got to takeaway what A'capella is, then enforcing camaraderie within the assigned group itself.

Urbanites started off shaky, each individual having a slightly different temperament and taste in music. It took us some while to coordinate and blend. With the help and effort from our supervisors, seniors and fellow IG mates. Kind of felt the family energy lying about.




Rish & I as the full version of Hazy and Ezyan's "friend zone" sign. Eheh! All picture credits goes to our senior Naddy. 


Here's to the classmates I have embarked my first year in Poly with. You guys are a pretty rowdy bunch! Haha! I have said what I needed on other social media platforms.

Here's to my family and friends (both in and out of school) for the immerse love, care and support. I may not be the best, but thank you for tolerating the nonsensical thyself.

Here's also to people whom I talked with very seldom now, thank you for the memories. We may not have the opportunity to forge deeper bonds, but at least we connected.

Here's to people who may have picked out the flaws in me, I know I have them. At some point I may seem distant and fake to you, and I am not going to put that in denial. Instead, I accept them solely as they are. Please hear my apologies. Also, I hope yaw are having fun.

Lastly, here's to all for making me learn and grow. I guess I am getting out little by little from my princess tendencies.

Cheers and all the best to a new year (erm technically a 'new SCHOOL year').

Friday, January 13, 2017

My Pledge; Sta Fey's Pledge


Two egos working together
One an alter-ego
Always shaping
always reforming
always running wild with thoughts

Sta
I plead you to keep your inner-child
for it will support you
And withstand you
From the ruthless world outside
from the dirty bad devils
from the paradox itself

Fey
Continue initiating ideas
Seeking knowledge and wisdom
Seeing beauty amidst the
Not-so-pretty things
not treachery lives
no words can sum up

Allow yourself
to make mistakes
to fail
to hurt

After all
this is a test
a race
a lesson
a chronology

You are encouraged
To bring abundance
Into the garden
blossoming with fragrance
exuding beams
of fog and clarity alike

Continue learning
to move forward
to reinvent yourself