Parents, they blossom us #HappinessCP

Credits: flowers-kid.com

This blog is like a journal of me, Sta. There are times I feel super grateful for all the occurrences. And yet, there are also times I feel like I am meeting my ends. Either way, if it is appropriate, I do like to share some of my feelings on this site. After all, there is no harm intended upon anyone.

I thought something was missing here... and then aha! I feel the need to dedicate this post to my lifelong teachers, my motivators, also known as my parents. Without their nurturing and teachings, I will not become the person I am today, nor will I ever see the world as beautiful as it is. They were the ones bearing all the sacrifices for me; nagging at me to become better, warning me from dangers of the real world, educating me. 

Though sometimes I might not be in good terms with them, I know they still care. Their endless love makes me feel really guilty over my sudden outbursts and doubts. However, there are also times I seldom wonder if they really love me. I believe as a teen , I always have that moment when I asked myself if my parents really care. Personally, I used to believe that the reason why they put me into school was only for their sake. Which is, when they get older and grew more wrinkles, I will be serving them. Yes, it is partly true.. and mom admittedly said it. She added on with something like "yes as parents, we want you to do better and surpass us, to live a better life -- you can call this doing out of greed or selfishness, you decide.". Of course I have nothing else to say.

However, genuine shows. I looked through the amount of hard work my parents put in each day; either to do the laundry, or cook meals so I will have enough to eat and sleep with. 95% of the house chores are done by them while I am schooling and playing. Now that balances off everything, don't you think? Both parties are busy with things that varies. I cannot blame them at all. What right do I have to blame them? Just because they brought me into this world? That's not a good reason, through destiny it emerged. After all, I guess as a whole, we all have to do things we are supposed to do; which is to seize as much knowledge and opportunities we are blessed with. Wouldn't life be meaningless if humans are plainly doing what they only love to do, or even - lazing around? What will happen to the generations to come. When people talk about the end of the world, I want to chuckle. 

If I could turn back time, I would choose to seize it well by making thorough decisions on making my parents happy instead of breaking their hearts. It sucks to see them get hurt by -- my ego, which obviously do not define me. If my art skills were better (I am totally working on them), I would illustrate one life thing attached to another, through various means like strings and ropes. Emotions - sad, happy, angry, satisfied, proud etc etc burst with popping colors, splattered paints and graphite. That piece will be displayed out in an either abstract or realistic way ( I prefer abstract). The title? Parent and child: The Connection. Ta-da! 

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Dammit, words cannot describe how I am connected to my parents. It seemed like their feelings are mine and my feelings are theirs. The moment when one of my parent lost his/her older brother, I immediately feel that loss. I cry along with them.

I think I need to empathize with them whenever they nag, tell me off or whatsoever. At least they are far from giving up. They believe in their child(ren) improving and making progress. Or in some cases, do not want child(ren) to end up feeling "whatever negative emotions they have" within. After all, no sane parents will want their kids to follow their bad habits. I have to understand that. 

Why is there a need to respect my parents? First and foremost, they are older. Therefore, they have probably been through much more than I do. They have far more experiences and past which I cannot deny. Then, there comes the part when they created my identity, and look after my well-being. They do not feel good if I am feeling down or unhappy, they join along instead. 

Okay, these are basically good traits from parents. BUT.. What could I do if they can be really mean sometimes? Like when they say things like...

"You are a dog."

"You are like the bad side of /one of your relative/."
"Don't be a pig."

Maybe I might have done something to anger them earlier on? Maybe there is no reason for them to say that at all. Whatever it is, parents are only humans who too expresses out things in different ways. There will be times I hear them say some "hurtful" remarks to me. Just like how I can be rude to them. Or worse, ignore them. Fair enough?

Now that I still have my parents around, I tend to take them for granted. I could not deny this fact. I have heard many stories on humans, being unappreciative and dependent towards those who cared... till they are gone, like literally no longer visible on this Earth. Only then did they realized how one can mean so much. Hell am I not going to expect this to happen.

(ONE LONG PAUSE)

At the mention of my previous statement, I want suggest all my readers to express out your gratitude to someone who has made a difference in your lives. Be it writing a letter, poem or verbally speaking your hearts out. It is cool to hear how someone can brighten up someone else's day. Hahaha well, recap time!!

In a nutshell, this world is full of different types of parents. There are the stricter ones, more open-minded ones, less talkative ones etc. Whatever it is, I'm trying to be grateful with what I have. For mom who finally gave birth to me after so many days of struggling with intense pain and feelings. For dad who tries hard to keep the line going.

(Think. Think.)

WAIT. OF COURSE, from my post, the people that blossom us might not always be our parents. Because I have hurt about abuse, assault stories and all. But I am sure someone else had played a part at fulfilling something. Hence, be thankful for that too.

(Thought process: shall end off now eh?)

Wheww! I hope this dedication post wan't too long for y'all? I have to spurt the words out. And I want to thank my parents for everything.  Not forgetting..

I LOVE THEM.