My Pledge; Sta Fey's Pledge

Two egos working together
One an alter-ego
Always shaping
always reforming
always running wild with thoughts

Sta
I plead you to keep your inner-child
for it will support you
And withstand you
From the ruthless world outside
from the dirty bad devils
from the paradox itself

Fey
Continue initiating ideas
Seeking knowledge and wisdom
Seeing beauty amidst the
Not-so-pretty things
not treachery lives
no words can sum up

Allow yourself
to make mistakes
to fail
to hurt

After all
this is a test
a race
a lesson
a chronology

You are encouraged
To bring abundance
Into the garden
blossoming with fragrance
exuding beams
of fog and clarity alike

Continue learning
to move forward
to reinvent yourself

Girl whom I missed

She's just a sweet innocent girl

No 

to think that she's growing up

Retrieving lots of information

and movements from her 

surroundings

Oh what a great sight

passionate indigo blue

the remarkable child

Empathetic one

smile as radiant

fresh genuine and smooth

Like a baby

whom outshines that

of another living being

Sort of

always looking out

always concerned

To her friends 

this girl 

is absolutely special 

So distinctive

I will remember her

always

Words I cannot fathom 

upon how grateful I am 

towards her

The wisdom she has

Immersed

and wise beyond age

Yet so pure

and vulnerable

indeed

She is a blessing

an Angel 

gift from the universe

With her ever-so-warm

adorable and affectionate 

gestures with some clumsiness

Now I finally 

learned

understood

The power behind why

things happen for a reason

state beyond transcendence 

Maybe it is the cause and effect

or that every

action has a reaction

But this star

out of a billion others

had impacted me 

Equilibrium

Butterflies be pollinating the flower

oh-so-lovely!

With his strong figure

Smooth, fair skin

Delicate features

Double eye-lids

Relatively big eyes

Eurasian appearance

Such an exquisite piece of

well crafted creation from heavens!

On one hand

He deserves this mini fame

In school

Soft smiling eyes

Kind-heart with obedience

Traits certain people want 

That is

If those girlies know him 

Inside out and well

Just like what they said
Every action
Has a reaction

Thought good about himself;
And others;
He attracted goodness!

Drifting

These pieces of memories
Together
Parts and parcel of life

When there's euphoria
Comes nostalgia

There's
End to the beginning
Beginning to the end

Thing's don't last
So do some people

Gone are the days
When there's a rendezvous
Great get-together

Time ticks
No use lamenting over it

Something
Once filled with vibrancy
Now turned into complete grey

A hole in the heart
Meant to be mended

We dreamed too much
The castles we built together
Came crashing down

Perhaps if
We can re-progress from here

Exquisite visions
High hopes
Slowly fading

Given in
Umpteen of times

Like a
Stretchable band
Stretched too much

Loses its elasticity
Enervated

Maybe
Things are meant to end
Discontinue

Though
It hurts so bad now

This girl
Still looks forward
To recovery

To more surprising
Days to come

--------

Thank you to people who played a vital role in the past few years of my life. To those who stayed or left, thank you. We created unforgettable memories; sweet and sour ones.  Years and years of coming together.. Now we're going on separate ways. Moving on from here...

The not pretty side of me

I woke up with
mucus and dust
dry face and never glam

Messy bed sheets
Tossed whatever

Fallen strands of hair
Dead skin cells
excessive bits from my body

Unwanted litter
used tissue papers and plastic cutlery
thrown into the bin


I woke up with
mucus and dust
dry face and never glam

Messy bed sheets
Tossed whatever

I eat
but not always healthy
just to fill my stomach

Sometimes
there are visible sweat stains
on my shirt and under my pits


I woke up with
mucus and dust
dry face and never glam

Messy bed sheets
Tossed whatever

These emotions
causing an outbreak
never pleasant

Using my five senses
only to know
I am overusing them afterwards


Each day the cycle repeats
I can never get tired of it
to look presentable for the world

Maintaining good hygiene
Looking at others the same

Are you not part of this yet
Come join the team
We are all a hot mess

Dear Shallow

Heart thumping
Music beating
Synchronized into one.

Me time! Me time!

Thoughts aside,  now all I see
Is the ceiling.

Too tired to feel.
Or should I say care?
Call for rest.

Shallow,

Can time stop?
No it is an illusion.
Something that unstoppably
goes tick tock tick tock
Or is It just the clock?

The rate it goes,
make my heart
follow through as well.

Shallow,

Are people true?
This the heavens know.
Or do they exist
right this moment
And so do I?

All I know is that
the way we live
is a climax.

Shallow,

What is energy?
Do we not see them
but feel them
indeed indeed
Are we forces?

The vortex of
concentrated power
magic lies within.

The music's
blasting right now.

Shallow,

My soul is soaring
high high!

Beneath it

Beneath our names
that are handpicked by people we know,

Beneath those seldom plastered smiles
Hidden fears and agenda,

Beneath the thing
That is implanted with bones
and covered with skins,

Beneath the flowing contents
Within our bodies,

Beneath the connection
Between this and that,  you and me,

Air...

Up

Lies the universe

Stars. Beautiful. Worth gazing at.

A masterpiece with its own flavours of contrast.

Choose

Choose,  the path is right in front of you. 
Venture on the rightful one and you are good to go.

Choose, don't be afraid of choices.
You learn from them.

Choose, the decisions are meant for you to make.

Everyday, you tell yourself that you are choosing your own luck, your own destiny. 
So what are you pondering about?

Keep choosing. There's an adventure for you.

Difficulty

Ego, self-pride aside.

Right now...

It stinks.

It hurts. 

While I was enjoying,

Things started falling apart...

Phase one's over.

Now's phase two.

Three next time.

Just like how a spark is form,

One thing can cause an entire ruckus.

A burden to carry around.

So on... 

Beneath high energy, 

A sweet sorrow rests.

Exhausted I am,

Though not really known of.
Can I conquer this battlefield?

I've been smiling,
Now my cheek muscles hurt.
Not that it is an enjoyment.
But a dreaded force.

Cold evening.
Shrouded with darkness all around.

I want to sleep forever.
But deep within
Tinge of rainbow streaks held on.

Like a soldier, I find strength.
Head throbs, body aches.
I'll still try anyways.

What are tears?
Soaked skin red eyes.

Idiocy chasing down humans.
Not that I want to be the next prey.
I just want to see the light again.


Now this is difficulty.

A complete mess

Hot tears streaming down the face.
Tears of hurt, mistakenly false self, and partial guilt.
Dried water and hair stucked onto the corners of the eyes.
Things doesn't need to end up this way.

Days after days of holding oneself up,
Confusing who one truly is,
"Are we this or that?"
"What's with truly believing in one specific religion, or belief system?"
"Why is there so much peer (or not) influence going on?"
"What if people nearest to us turn their backs eventually?"
5 Ws1H
What a complicated life this is.

It all led to this point
that humans, despite unconditionally loving people,
will eventually hurt them.
Everyone is naturally selfish, emotional
& tangled up.
Then at some points we are worrisome monsters.
All similar weaknesses.

So it concludes,
We are all living a complete mess.
A puzzle to solve - life.
A beautiful tragedy.
Anti straight lines.
Curves and edges.

Seaside Beauty

Side note: This was pretty much written during the trip.

Big big seaside,

A very vast space.

Filled with sand and water.

Run girl run,

chase the ball,

run to people,

get that sweat out,

with the skirt flowing.

Ride girl ride,

sit on that moving motorbike,

with the accompaniment of a beloved one.

Laugh girl laugh,

have that giggles and bonding time.

Now that laughter is contagious,

like a happy bomb thrown over,

to relatives and friends.

Wide smile spread across her face;

a symbol of contentment,

only for that period of time.

Little straw houses made the background.

Smells from salted fishes,

and baked sands.

Locals carrying out their daily activities.

Essence of nature,

and sun beams.

Time was slow then.

That,

is all she ever wanted,

For time to slow down.

Hoping the moment to last,

the moment of pure enjoyment.

Seaside beauty.

City Nightime

One fine windy night, I was looking out from the windows. Enjoying, simply feeling and loving the moment. 

Soft breeze blowing onto my face,
receiving gentle and cool kisses.
Fresh air retrieved.
For once living in the city seems magnificent.

Looking on a bird's eye view,
people are just tiny creatures.
Walking down pavements,
crossing the roads.

Engine running from buses,
shady trees camouflaging,
variegated leaves,
so beautiful.

Oh could I draw the trees?

Silent night,
with added drip drops at some points
I am alone yet not alone.
The things are quiet but alive.

Purplish dark blue red skies,
I feel relaxation.
The breeze was still a while.
Sleep time.

My Room

My room,
the most weirdest place to be
It is
clean yet messy,
small but vast,
boring and interesting,
heading from dream to dream,
everything becomes dim.

My room,
It is
the discovery of things,
surprising or unwanted,
growth of knowledge and wisdom,
forever etched inside the mind.


My room, 
party all night,
dance like crazy
talk like mad,
when nobody's concerned.

My room,
letting go of some things,
training willpower,
breathing in positivity.

Simple yet cozy,
that's how it is.

Anger

The fuzzed up process.

Hot sensation within,
blaring like crazy.

Ego surfaces,
blowing everything up.

Hurt says the love ones,
no one in the moment wants.

Stupid weak personalities,
forever brewing trouble.

Negativity approaches,
bringing unrest to all.

With a calm mind and control,
everything would be fine.

I won the battle.

Humans

A bunch of souls,
where some secret unfolds,
Differences,
whether externally or
internally,
Makes the world interesting.
Creativity,
The art of nature.
Melody of love.

Parents,
Relatives,
People,
all in the mind of one.
Goodbyes,
A moment of sadness.
But as time goes by,
wounds heal.

Cancer,
the annoyance.
Yourself,
the importance of all.
Love,
Forgiveness,
never easy.
But
there is hope,
as you believe.